Sic(k)

Sheeps are surely better than dogs. For one thing, dogs bark, sheeps baa. Dogs have a kind of wiry fur, sheeps have wool. Sheeps live in fields and don't poo on the carpet.

Carrying on from yesterday's poetry/shop post, it did occur to me that Every Little Helps must be the most annoying slogan of all time. It suggests that our life is one big struggle, only ameliorated by the kind, kind Tesco monomarket. Sainsbury's catchphrase, Making Life Taste Better supersedes their earlier strapline which was: There's Always Something New At Sainsbury's, changing the idea of Sainsbury's from a purveyor of foodstuff to a Life Solution Choice. I hate them, all of them, with their plastic bags and their unhappy staff and their stupid class system of meals - value, normal, quality:- why should the poor have to eat rubbish food? Why can't we all eat well for a moderate price? Bourgeois food (olive oil, organics etc) from Sainsbury's and Tesco costs the same as, or more than, the same in Waitrose (which doesn't have a value or a luxury range) but they drive down the prices of the basics to give the illusion of cheapness - paid for by the growers of the food in those hot countries that exist solely to give us a comfortable life. Economics is Bad. Let's go back in time and kill Adam Smith, that should sort it.

I am also un-enamoured of the new tube announcement: "Please report any abandoned luggage or SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOUR to a member of staff or the police". The problem is that when the man says: SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOUR, he sounds as if he's trying not to laugh and it comes out like a very bad actor trying to be dramatic at a failing RADA audition. Why couldn't they just re-record it without the irritating idiocy? Ditto the announcement that claimed: "There is engineering works taking place on the following lines this weekend...." Didn't anyone spot the error and make the person re-do the message? Why not? Do they not care, innit? Am I turning into a Telegraph Reader? Or worse, the likes of Oxbridge educated Adam and Joe who moved from Gloucestershire to Brixton and filmed themselves going around the market asking the stallholders: "Does the carrot own the lb?" And breaking things in china shops and offering to pay for them because a sign said: You break, you pay? Cunts.

But I still wouldn't get anything printed at the shop on Stoke Newington High Street that offers invitations for events, birthdays and partys.

[I am aware that the plural of sheep is not sheeps. But I am approaching 34, I need to make myself look young and cute somehow].

Edit: Goddamit, the sheepoodle thing was all a Big Fat Lie. That'll teach me to believe anything I read in an Associated Newspaper newspaper.

Sic(k)

Sheeps are surely better than dogs. For one thing, dogs bark, sheeps baa. Dogs have a kind of wiry fur, sheeps have wool. Sheeps live in fields and don't poo on the carpet.

Carrying on from yesterday's poetry/shop post, it did occur to me that Every Little Helps must be the most annoying slogan of all time. It suggests that our life is one big struggle, only ameliorated by the kind, kind Tesco monomarket. Sainsbury's catchphrase, Making Life Taste Better supersedes their earlier strapline which was: There's Always Something New At Sainsbury's, changing the idea of Sainsbury's from a purveyor of foodstuff to a Life Solution Choice. I hate them, all of them, with their plastic bags and their unhappy staff and their stupid class system of meals - value, normal, quality:- why should the poor have to eat rubbish food? Why can't we all eat well for a moderate price? Bourgeois food (olive oil, organics etc) from Sainsbury's and Tesco costs the same as, or more than, the same in Waitrose (which doesn't have a value or a luxury range) but they drive down the prices of the basics to give the illusion of cheapness - paid for by the growers of the food in those hot countries that exist solely to give us a comfortable life. Economics is Bad. Let's go back in time and kill Adam Smith, that should sort it.

I am also un-enamoured of the new tube announcement: "Please report any abandoned luggage or SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOUR to a member of staff or the police". The problem is that when the man says: SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOUR, he sounds as if he's trying not to laugh and it comes out like a very bad actor trying to be dramatic at a failing RADA audition. Why couldn't they just re-record it without the irritating idiocy? Ditto the announcement that claimed: "There is engineering works taking place on the following lines this weekend...." Didn't anyone spot the error and make the person re-do the message? Why not? Do they not care, innit? Am I turning into a Telegraph Reader? Or worse, the likes of Oxbridge educated Adam and Joe who moved from Gloucestershire to Brixton and filmed themselves going around the market asking the stallholders: "Does the carrot own the lb?" And breaking things in china shops and offering to pay for them because a sign said: You break, you pay? Cunts.

But I still wouldn't get anything printed at the shop on Stoke Newington High Street that offers invitations for events, birthdays and partys.

[I am aware that the plural of sheep is not sheeps. But I am approaching 34, I need to make myself look young and cute somehow].

Edit: Goddamit, the sheepoodle thing was all a Big Fat Lie. That'll teach me to believe anything I read in an Associated Newspaper newspaper.