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See our friends, see the sights
Aug. 29th, 2010 01:35 pmI found this article by Mrs Dr Brian Cox Gia Milinovich rather interesting.
It's not just famous women, or wives of famous men that get this treatment. When single, waiters, taxi drivers, estate agents and so on would talk to me. As soon as you're with a man, they ignore you. Tourists are always asking me directions probably because I don't look like a mugger. However, when I'm with Dave, they automatically ask him the way to the Hard Rock cafe. (Male) friends sometimes introduce us as Dave-and-his-girlfriend-Rachel whereas once I'd be Rachel-in-my-own-right. I remember one man once asking me in mixed company: "Whose girlfriend are you then?" It's a sexist world, you don't have to work in the media to find that out.
The thing about Ms Milinovich is when you look at her website, half of it is about Brian! If you look at his, you have to scroll down to the bottom of the page to see a link to her website. If she doesn't want to be Dr Brian's plus one, she should eradicate her husband from her online presence. It's hardly in the same league, but I wouldn't pepper the website of a band I was in with pics of David.
I imagine it would be difficult if one's partner suddenly became the object of strangers' lust....I declared my love for Dr C a long while before Wonders of the Solar System. One doesn't usually look up the marital status of a saucy someone you've seen whilst channel hopping. Once someone's on TV, for good or bad, they're public property - not to the extent of sending horrible emails or stalking, but having an opinion on them without considering their feelings about this opinion (just as people gave Fosca bad reviews without thinking what we might feel about that, which is fair enough).
Moreover, I would have thought that if two people have a child, both are responsible for bringing him or her up - therefore if Dr Brian were my husband (and one day he will be ahahahaha) I'd suggest that once he'd launched his career it would then be his turn to take 2 or 3 years off and look after the kid whilst his partner has a life that doesn't revolve around nappies.
Whilst I'm reading the Guardian....
Julian Clary on being gay and middle aged.
The difference, I conclude, between gays and straights when it comes to mid-life is that gays don't feel bound to fulfill certain roles. Why should we? Having lived our lives on the boundaries of society's norms we feel able to negotiate our way through the experience of ageing. And most of us do not have children to distract us from our self-absorption.
I don't like this "difference between gays and straights" thing. Gay people fancy people of their own sex, straights fancy people of the opposite sex. Everything else is cultural. Some gay people want to get married, some don't. Ditto straight people. As society accepts that homosexuality is normal and not deviant, the concept of gay people being on the boundaries of society's norms will disappear, unless self-imposed.
Straight people don't feel bound to fulfill certain roles either. Why should I? Why should I get married and have children when I feel no desire to? My self-absorption is as strong as ever. It's not just gay men who try to fashion the life they want.
I am too old for clubbing (although certain clubs *cough* How Does It Feel *cough* are always full of people my age or older). That doesn't mean I have to settle into the accepted norms for a 37 year old (shopping for bed linen, visits to the in-laws). My 40 year old friends are still becoming students, travelling across the world to see Morrissey, cycling from Lands End to John O'Groats, starting a new band without a hope of being famous. We're too old for drugs and promiscuity and drinking til dawn, but we don't have to settle for The Lion King and Michael Buble and wine tasting evening classes.
The 40th birthday picnic I went to on Saturday contained lots of under-5s (including one belonging to a man who once called himself Black September and sang "I wanna destroy myself every single night") but also people discussing which festivals they'd been to this summer and the terrible problem of finding Just Normal Hummus amongst all the many varieties hummuses in the supermarket. I talked to Jamie about baking, but also about interactive art events and the Goodwood Revival and Alvin Stardust vs the Swingle Sisters. We don't have to conform! At least, not yet.
We left as Neil was leading a game of Twister on the floor, and went to the chippy for curry sauce 'n' chips.
It's not just famous women, or wives of famous men that get this treatment. When single, waiters, taxi drivers, estate agents and so on would talk to me. As soon as you're with a man, they ignore you. Tourists are always asking me directions probably because I don't look like a mugger. However, when I'm with Dave, they automatically ask him the way to the Hard Rock cafe. (Male) friends sometimes introduce us as Dave-and-his-girlfriend-Rachel whereas once I'd be Rachel-in-my-own-right. I remember one man once asking me in mixed company: "Whose girlfriend are you then?" It's a sexist world, you don't have to work in the media to find that out.
The thing about Ms Milinovich is when you look at her website, half of it is about Brian! If you look at his, you have to scroll down to the bottom of the page to see a link to her website. If she doesn't want to be Dr Brian's plus one, she should eradicate her husband from her online presence. It's hardly in the same league, but I wouldn't pepper the website of a band I was in with pics of David.
I imagine it would be difficult if one's partner suddenly became the object of strangers' lust....I declared my love for Dr C a long while before Wonders of the Solar System. One doesn't usually look up the marital status of a saucy someone you've seen whilst channel hopping. Once someone's on TV, for good or bad, they're public property - not to the extent of sending horrible emails or stalking, but having an opinion on them without considering their feelings about this opinion (just as people gave Fosca bad reviews without thinking what we might feel about that, which is fair enough).
Moreover, I would have thought that if two people have a child, both are responsible for bringing him or her up - therefore if Dr Brian were my husband (
Whilst I'm reading the Guardian....
Julian Clary on being gay and middle aged.
The difference, I conclude, between gays and straights when it comes to mid-life is that gays don't feel bound to fulfill certain roles. Why should we? Having lived our lives on the boundaries of society's norms we feel able to negotiate our way through the experience of ageing. And most of us do not have children to distract us from our self-absorption.
I don't like this "difference between gays and straights" thing. Gay people fancy people of their own sex, straights fancy people of the opposite sex. Everything else is cultural. Some gay people want to get married, some don't. Ditto straight people. As society accepts that homosexuality is normal and not deviant, the concept of gay people being on the boundaries of society's norms will disappear, unless self-imposed.
Straight people don't feel bound to fulfill certain roles either. Why should I? Why should I get married and have children when I feel no desire to? My self-absorption is as strong as ever. It's not just gay men who try to fashion the life they want.
I am too old for clubbing (although certain clubs *cough* How Does It Feel *cough* are always full of people my age or older). That doesn't mean I have to settle into the accepted norms for a 37 year old (shopping for bed linen, visits to the in-laws). My 40 year old friends are still becoming students, travelling across the world to see Morrissey, cycling from Lands End to John O'Groats, starting a new band without a hope of being famous. We're too old for drugs and promiscuity and drinking til dawn, but we don't have to settle for The Lion King and Michael Buble and wine tasting evening classes.
The 40th birthday picnic I went to on Saturday contained lots of under-5s (including one belonging to a man who once called himself Black September and sang "I wanna destroy myself every single night") but also people discussing which festivals they'd been to this summer and the terrible problem of finding Just Normal Hummus amongst all the many varieties hummuses in the supermarket. I talked to Jamie about baking, but also about interactive art events and the Goodwood Revival and Alvin Stardust vs the Swingle Sisters. We don't have to conform! At least, not yet.
We left as Neil was leading a game of Twister on the floor, and went to the chippy for curry sauce 'n' chips.
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