I wish I'd looked after me teeth

[millionreasons]

When I was 13, I had a brace. Nothing unusual in that, but mine wasn't to straighten my molars, it was to create an opening in my teeth because a tooth was stuck in the gum: there wasn't enough space for it. I had to turn a little screw in the brace with a tiny allen key each night to create the space. It was a choice between that and having a small hole between two teeth. After about 6 months of this, I went into hospital to have the tooth surgically taken out of my gum and stuck into the hole. Perhaps because I was 14, perhaps because it's the only time I've been in hospital, the memory of it remains quite vivid, from there not being a bed for me when I got there so I had to sit in the smoke choked day room until the evening to the drugs they had to inject into my bum because I kept vomitting after the general anaesthetic. I couldn't sleep because the nurses on night shift talked constantly and the old ladies having their wisdom teeth removed kept moaning. I put that I was a vegetarian on the form and they brought me oxtail soup. I got so bored, I started sketching (I am a rotten artist). I remember being terribly embarassed going to the toilet wearing a hospital gown because it showed my knickers. After I checked out, I had to wear another brace which covered the whole of my mouth and had 4 stitches hanging down from the tooth that had been sewn in but fortunately, this was only for a week. I always know which tooth it was because it's yellower than the others.

Anyway, this evening, chewing on a pen made of wood, I felt a crack and some blood dripped out of my mouth. The tooth, the one I and the NHS took so much trouble over back in 1987, was hanging off. Fucking eco-pens; if it had been a biro, I'd've ended up with a mouth full of plastic but at least I'd still have a full tooth.

I wish I'd just left my mouth with a small hole - I suspect whatever the tooth fairy brings is not going to be enough to cover the dentist's bill.