It's so lonely on a limb

I'm pretty sure that the queen had to dispose of both her mother and sister before people felt sorry enough for her to celebrate her 50 years reigning over us. This time on, not only does everyone love ol' Liz, but the shebang feels about 10,000 times bigger. I blame Stephen Frears. Or rather, the economic climate - there're certainly a lot of circuses under this recessional government. I suppose that because we don't have presidental elections (general elections are hardly the same thing; they are more about stats than rousing rallies) we have to have royal things so that we can stick some flags outside of our houses - something to "bring everyone together", to feel a bit of unity, a  bit of non-racist Britishness, even if a) the queen is of German stock and b) it is all based on bizarre made-up stuff (the idea of someone being "royal" is as weird as the one about something in the sky watching over us). Presumably all the jubilee tat in shops will be swiftly re-branded as Olympics tat once Tuesday is over (I suggest that to replace the pasty tax, the government should bring in a bunting tax).

Discussing the jubilee with a chum the other day, I said that if, in a Freaky Friday mix-up, I woke up as David Cameron, apart from shooting myself in the face, I woudn't ban the royal family, I would make them into a business. They would have to live within their land-owning income, hire their own security, and pay proper tax. They wouldn't get their civil list or royal modes of transport and would have to follow employment law (minimum wage for footmen). They could still go around being royal and special and have Nicholas Witchell surgically attached to their bottoms with his tongue, but they wouldn't be a burden on, y'know, us.

So, will we get another day off in ten years' time or will we need to wait until 2027?