Sue vs Jarv

[millionreasons]

Some things that flow through my mind at 5 a.m. when I can’t get back to sleep:

Susan Boyle. What I find frustrating about the whole SuBo three ring circus is that the likes of the Guardian with its "the judges weren’t as mean to Paul Potts" schtick and people with their campaigns for her to win based on the fact that she is a non-airbrushed Real Woman didn’t seem to realise that they were part of the game. Even this blog entry (belatedly) compounds the furore that lead to the woman being compulsorily rehabbed. If it doesn’t matter what people, and especially women, look like, why were so many commentators comparing her to Botoxed Amanda Holden?

When she first appeared, I wrote Susan Boyle = Geraldine. There was a narrative to be written and it was following the Peter Kay spoof. Once I had nothing, now I got something….People treat reality TV stars as fictional characters ("vote for your favourite") probably because a story is being created for them. On the Peter Kay skit, Our Wayne was allowed back on the show after Our Nan died - it fitted the overcoming adversity storyline. The fact that Susan Boyle attended the  Edinburgh Acting School and appeared at the Edinburgh Fringe hasn't been overly mentioned - because it doesn't fit in with the plot. The public wants rags-riches stories and by God, Simon Cowell will  provide them make money off of them.

Kay came to prominence with a comedy about a working men's club, and each show ended with a selection of dreadful acts auditioning. The X Factor and Britain's Got Talent remind me of people getting up at their local club or pub and doing a turn, but in this globalised world, now they're seen by people the world over. What does Susan Boyle do now that she's famous all over the Western hemisphere? Cruise ships? The faux-celeb world of Heat and chat shows? Or an undignified return to West Lothian.

The idea that happiness can only be gotten by exposure to millions of people is an odd one given that it doesn’t seem to bring joy to that many. There seem to be very few winners in the reality game (other than Simon Cowell). Gates, Young, Aloud. Who remembers Steve Brookstein? Shayne Ward? Leon Jackson? Who even remembers who won last year's Britain's Got Talent?

Fictional Geraldine said that everyone in her town liked her now whereas before, they had no interest in her. The other odd thing is that as Warhol's adage comes true and fame is democratised, celebrity means less and less. Unless....in the future there will be only two classes, the famous and the ‘civilians’, a scamble for exposure while the hospitals go un-nursed and the buses undriven. I find it very strange that people think the famous are a class above us, that they are somehow better than us, that Simon Cowell and Sir Alan have all the answers. If (e.g.) Franz Ferdinand and Anita Roddick had asked the two for their opinion and advice, what would they have said? “Just appalling” and “You’re fired”, I imagine.

I didn’t watch BGT but I’m aware that there was a 10 year old child on it who burst into tears during an appearance because she messed up the words. That girl is going to be for the next 10 years, the girl who cried on BGT. That's her eternal moment for her therapy session. Sometimes I think about the child who cried when Tony Blair resigned and the heartlessness of the parents who uploaded their video of it for the world to see. But maybe it will be normal in the future; perhaps it's the parents who aren't filming and uploading their little darlings who are the heartless ones.

Susan reminds me a little of a woman who lives on our estate, cared for by her sister. She has mild learning difficulties and spends a lot of time walking her dog and asking questions of her neighbours. Occasionally she gets angry and writes annoyed half-literate messages on the noticeboard. I can imagine that if she could sing and went on one of these shows she’d be eaten alive.

Speaking of people that were bruised by fame, I was interested to read this bitter article by Russell Senior. Whilst Russell doesn’t seem to understand that Pulp fans weren’t paying to hear or see his guitar playing either on record or in concert, I find it interesting that he is rather antagonistic towards Jarvis and most of his gripes seem to be around his notion that the band turned from a group into a one man show (whereas I was under the impression that Pulp's split was more of an organic affair). I do like Pulp as a band and Jarvis was more interesting than, say, Noel Gallagher or Damon Albarn, but I’ve always felt slightly suspicious towards him, I think he is disingenuous, particularly in the areas of class and gender.

Jarvis might write Larkin-esque bathetic couplets such as:

When you raise your pencil skirt like a veil before my eyes
Like the look upon his face as he’s zipping up his flies

But his sole purpose in sex with the woman in I Spy is revenge against the middle class husband. In Common People, if he feels so vitriolic towards the art student (“Everybody hates a tourist”) why did he go out with the woman? Was this also some kind of revenge against the middle classes that he professes not to be a part of? His sister is called Saskia, for organic beansprout’s sake. Do believe me when I say that working class people in Sheffield do not call their kids Saskia. Jarvis may have lived in genteel boho poverty but he was a posh person in a poor pond, it was only when he moved to London that he realised the differences between him and poor people in Sheffield were much slighter than the gaping chasm between his financial and social standing and that of the rich in London. Common People was written in Primrose Hill not Wombwell (".... the calm remembrance of passionate emotional experiences”). Then he wrote Misshapes – an attack on the townie working class population of Sheffield and all of those inward looking places:

What’s the point of being rich?
If you don’t know what to do with it
Cos you’re so bleedin thick

He referred to the boons of Pulp’s heyday thusly:

“I had access to the most quality fanny available”. I’m not sure what makes a “fanny” quality – tightness, moistness, texture? Indeed, how would he know by looking at and talking with a woman and coming to the decision to sleep with her, what her vagina is like? Did he take references from her previous partners? Unless he is using fanny to mean woman. Because women, according to Jarvis, are the sum of just one of their parts. Synecdoche, Yorkshire.

 

 

 

 

Comments

[dickon-edwards.livejournal.com]

Re the fanny comment. He meant women in general, and he wasn't being entirely serious. Had that line came from Liam Gallagher, say, it would've been deeply tiresome.

Mr Cocker guest edited R4's Today programme lately. You wouldn't get many Today editors talking about access to fanny.

Oh, wait. Rod Liddle.

I was a bit taken aback by Russell Senior's bitter memories. I always went to Pulp gigs just to see him - he changed suits at least three times an evening! What does he mean by 'living well is the best revenge', do you think? Does he mean Jarvis is much richer but has had a less fun time since they parted? Hmmmm.

[millionreasons.livejournal.com]

I know he wasn't being entirely serious, but I really can't bear women being referred to as their genitals. I'm trying really hard to imagine a female popstar saying: I had access to the best quality cock, but failing. Maybe Peaches.

My point was more that Jarvis is always viewed as being a feminine man and in-tune with women, but I find many of his lyrics either patronising (Razzmatazz), exploitative (Little Girl With Blue Eyes) or just plain creepy (Underwear).

I imagine Russell S is venting somewhat - maybe he thought he was the Marr to Jarvis's Morrissey.

[thenipper.livejournal.com]

Lady Gaga made exactly that cock statement just the other week!

[millionreasons.livejournal.com]

Poor old Lady GG - Jarvis looks like a tramp and gets "quality fanny", she has to forget her skirt every day in order to get "quality cock".