A Million Reasons for Wanting to Carry on Living

He loves you until the end of the mayoral race
Of all the London voters, you are king
Loves you because you put him in his rightful place
And he loves all the easy votes that you bring.

Commuting isn't cheap
So you get get up while you're still asleep
To drive to work in your big jeep
It's your human right (right, right, right).

Oh Hillingdon, oh Havering, oh Bexley, Hounslow,
He gets so many votes from you
But he is just a clown (he's just a clown),
Enfield, Hammersmith (Fulham, too)
Chelsea (Kensington, too)
(You make me frown).
Greenwich, Croydon, Merton, too
Harrow, the City, ooh
(You make me frown).

He loves you from the bottom of his Boris bike
He loves the way you never ask him why
The tube fares have had a massive hike
Five pounds to get from zones 1 to 5.

Deep so deep, the Mayoralty he hopes to reap
Depends upon the votes you heap, so vote, lovey, vote (vote, vote, vote).

Oh Kingston, oh Sutton, oh Wandsworth, ooh-ooh
You made him London Mayor,
But now it's up to you (now it's up to you)
Redbridge, Barnet, Bromley, too
Westminster, Richmond, ooh.
I send this plea to you.

(Rpt).

So let me talk about Ken, a sad story,
The Oyster card was his glory,
So let me talk about Ken, a sad story,
The Oyster card was his glory,

Late at night, the Evening Standard,
Ripped his dreams to shreds.
Late at night, the Evening Standard,
Ripped his dreams to shreds.

(With apologies to The Beautiful South)